true joy

I feel like I've learned a lot in the small time since school ended.  I don't know if it's because I want something to write about, or if I actually am starting to really appreciate the things I have around me. I'm gonna go ahead and assume it's the latter.

This summer has already taught me so much, and it's just getting started. I'm excited to see what else is going to come my way for the rest of the time I have until school starts. Hopefully, all of these things will continue after school starts. It definitely wouldn't hurt me at all to learn how to appreciate the things that I take for granted.

As crappy as it's been not having a car, something special happened the day the crazy hailstorm hit oklahoma city. When I walked outside to see what kind of damage the hailstorm from hell brought upon my car, my aunt's next door neighbors were standing out in their driveway, doing just about the same things as I was. I had never formally met them, so I walked over with my aunt and started conversation.

I can remember when I was young, maybe 8 or 9, my brother's car got broken into, and I wanted so badly to go see what his car looked like. So, my brother picked me and walked over to his car so I could see.

While I was talking to my aunt's neighbors, I saw their little adopted son, Anthony, just looking up at us, probably wondering what the heck we were talking about. He's 4, and he was just so cute! So I looked at him and said, "Hey Anthony. Do you wanna go look at my car?" He looked up at me and nodded. So I picked him up and walked over to my car. He held his hand out and tried to touch my windshield. He was so curious, just like a kid I suppose. After a couple of minutes had gone by, I walked back over to his driveway and tried to put him down. He wouldn't put his feet down, so I just thought, "What the heck." I held him for a little while. He was so sweet. He just put his head down on my shoulder and didn't utter a word. I fell in love with him right then.

It came time for me to attempt to drive my car home, so I put him down and told him that I would see him again soon. He started to walk back to his front door.  He was very mopey. He obviously didn't want to go back inside. So I crouched down and said, "Hey Anthony! Come give me a hug!" He turned around and ran to me with his arms wide open.

It wasn't until after he had gone inside that my grandma told me why he had been adopted. His mother did some terrible things to him, things I'm not going to say. My heart broke. He's the sweetest little boy I've ever met, and I don't understand how people can be so hurtful. Knowingly hurtful. My grandma also told me she thinks the reason he took to me so fast was because I'm young like his mom.

I have always envied my friends that are very obviously good with kids. I've never been really close to any younger kids, and I've never had one really take to me like he did. I'm kinda good with early teens I guess, but no one has really touched me the way that Anthony has. I was telling my mom earlier how I can't believe how fast I began caring for this little boy. I asked her if that's what it felt like when she had kids. She told me it's this feeling times a million. If that's the case, I can't wait to have children. This little boy is truly amazing.

I had the great pleasure of seeing him again today! His eyes brightened up when he saw me walking over. What he doesn't understand is how much joy I got from seeing him and playing catch with him.

You never know what wonderful things can happen amidst something bad happening. In the two very short meetings I've had with Anthony, my life has been changed. My days have brightened.

Please don't rush through life. Take advantage of every moment that God gives you on this planet. Like everyone always says, it's the little things in life that make it worth living. What I didn't really understand until now is that the little things that happen to you have the biggest impact on your life. If something so small can be life-changing, why would you ever want to miss it?

The most important thing in my life is my family. It doesn't matter what goes on in this house or anywhere for that matter, nothing will ever make me love them any less than how much I love them right now. If anything, my love for them grows every day.

I've been thinking about some of the things that have happened to me in the past, and I am beginning to realize how lucky I am to be healthy, have a loving family, and be surrounded by people who care about me so much. If I ever needed anything, I would have people all around me who would do just about anything to make sure I was taken care of.

Sometimes, it takes a little reminder to make you realize that you are right where you need to be, and the people in your life are there for a reason. I ask you to just time some time out of your day to think about the people in your life who truly care about you. They're the ones who make everything possible. They're the ones who love you more than anything. And they're the ones who deserve your love and thanks.

thoughts

As I was reading some old texts last night, I realized that my life right now is as perfect as it could possibly be. I spend so much of my time worrying about things I shouldn't worry about and wanting things that I don't need. Everything I need is right here. If I needed more, God would provide it.

My biggest problem? Waiting on love. Maybe my goal this summer should be to live as carefree as possible and to stop trying to make things happen. My moment will come. It's just not right now.

the beginning

As I was creating this blog, I remembered Xanga. That was my first online blogging experience. While reading it, I realized how much of a high schooler I really was. We all know what that means... I wrote a few profound things, but overall a lot of my entries were full of information that people either didn't want to know or didn't need to know. Now that I just finished my third year of college, I decided that this was something I could do to express my opinions on things, maybe vent a little bit, and most importantly show my love for people. What you are about to experience is the life of your typical college student. This may sound slightly boring, but I assure you that your "typical" college student may not be as typical as you think. So here we go.

I'll go ahead and start with some general yet important information about me.

There are three very important things in my life, and they all mean the world to me: my family, my friends, and music. My family and I are very close, and I love them more than words can express. My friends are the people who are constantly on my mind, and they're the other people (other than family) that I would most willingly give my life for. And music is my passion and is something I'll never give up as long as I live. I love singing. I love playing the piano.

Here's my life lately.

I finished my junior year at the University of Oklahoma last week. As it came to a close, I really began thinking about what my life will be like in the coming years. My years in college have flown by faster than I could have ever possibly imagined, but I think I can use them to get a glimpse of what my life could become. These are some of the most important years of my life, so surely they can help me determine how to live the rest of my life.

Since summer has started, a few interesting things have happened.

1. Rachael, one of my very best friends, graduated. This is very exciting/traumatizing because as excited as I am for her to do amazing things with her life, she will be greatly missed by all of the people that she touched.

2. Oklahoma hasn't seen temperatures over 90 degrees. It's tornado season so we've had lots of storms come through, but it's been unusually cool.

3. (Well, really a sub-note of 2) Oklahoma had the worst hailstorm it's ever seen on Sunday. Now we're talking some UNREAL sizes and amounts of hail. I was at my aunt's house when it hit. We got golf ball sized there. As we were watching the news (we=me, my aunt, and my grandma), good ol' Mike Morgan informed us that parts of Oklahoma City had softball sized hail. AND it was hailing so much that, no lie, the ground looked like it was covered in snow. Oh yeah, and to make things worse, the whole storm lasted all of 5 minutes. The amount of damage caused in 5 minutes of storm was unbelievable. Then after it stormed, it was as sunny as could be, like someone played a huge prank on Oklahoma City. "Oh just kidding. The storm that just shattered your windshield didn't really happen."

4. After somewhat bragging about having 20/20 vision my whole life, I discovered on Tuesday that I no longer have 20/20 vision. I mentioned something to my mom last year about how I couldn't really see very well far away, but my lack of seeing far away never really hindered me at all or caused headaches or anything, so I just put it off. I said something to my mom again a couple of weeks ago, and so she scheduled me an eye appointment. So I went in on Tuesday at 11 and left at 1 with contacts and an order for some glasses. Now, as bummed as I was about having to get all these things, I am pretty glad I can see clearer, and my glasses that I ordered are SUPER cute. So, I guess it's not all bad.

All of these things are pretty minor occurrences in the long run, but right now they're pretty life-altering, which then goes to show that the little things in life really do make a difference, even if it's only for a little while.

As a young woman, I know I've still got things to learn, I'm going to make mistakes, and I've still got my life to figure out, but at the end of the day I know 3 things.

I am loved.

I will always be loved.

LOVE conquers ALL.

Thanks for reading. You'll hear from me again soon.