bucket list

Bucket list time! This is not the completed list, but it's all I can think of for the time being.


1. learn how to play the guitar.
2. own a horse.
3. audition for american idol.
4. ride in a hot air balloon.
5. go to mardi gras!
6. sing the national anthem at a thunder basketball game.
7. live in LA
8. go to hangout fest, bonnaroo, coachella, and lollapalooza.
9. befriend a rockstar.
10. sing on national television.
11. swim with dolphins.
12. get married.
13. have some kids of my own.
14. write a song.
15. visit jim morrison's grave in france.
16. get a tattoo. (or several. i've heard they're addictive)
17. see incubus live.
18. be on the kiss cam at a sporting event.
19. go on a mission trip.
20. travel the world.
21. bring someone to Christ.
22. adopt a child. maybe several.
23. meet johnny depp
24. go to ireland.
25.

Yesterday, I realized how much the Lord has changed me. I was saying things that I've never heard myself say before. I was overcome with a sense of peace and patience that I don't think I've ever felt before. I speak of Him more often in daily conversation. He is becoming more and more important to me every day. I really have become a totally different person. The shallow things that were important to me before are losing their value compared to the love of Jesus. As I follow the Lord in my daily life, I see Him working in me. Several friendships that I have have been rekindled and are more Christ-centered. And as every day goes by, I am amazed more and more by the Father.

After reflecting on all of these things, I have come to this conclusion:

following the Lord is the best decision I've ever made.

I am amazed at the way God has brought certain people around me for encouragement. I was skeptical of walking with the Lord at first because, let's face it, I'm usually skeptical about making big commitments. But the things He has been doing for me and around me has removed all skepticism that I had. What has made the biggest impact is the relationships with which He has surrounded me. When I can talk about the Lord with friends or family, it makes me love Him even more because I can then share with other people the things He's doing in my life, and I can hear about what He's doing in the lives of the people around me. At the end of the conversation, I feel closer to God and closer to the person that I was talking to.

If you're reading this, and you think that God could never love you, or you don't want anything to do with God, or you believe in Him but you're perfectly comfortable living your life just knowing He's there, I promise you that once you are able to accept the love and grace of Jesus, your life will NEVER be the same. It will be the best decision of your life. Trust me, the skeptical one. Your life will have meaning. You will have guidance. God loves you, and He wants so badly to be close to you. You have worth in Jesus. The relationship that you can have with Jesus will be the most rewarding and loving relationship you'll ever be in, and He will bless you beyond what you can imagine if you just trust Him.

give Him everything.

As every day goes by, I am amazed more and more by the love of the Father. Every day, I enter into His presence, and it never fails that by the time I end my quiet time in the Word and move on to the rest of the day, I feel this amazing peace that seems to completely flood over me. You know, there are so many days where I feel like I'm the most selfish person that has ever existed, and I think, "There's no way that I can come to the Lord today." Those are the days that He touches me most. Those are the days that I am completely overwhelmed at the power of His presence and love. He never ceases to answer me when I call. He never stops loving me. He never leaves my side. Right when I think that I don't deserve His love, He reminds me that I am His and that I find my worth in Him.

I was talking with a friend yesterday, and he was telling me about how he doesn't want to call himself a Christian because there are things in his life that he needs to figure out and change. My response? You don't need to get your life together before you come to Jesus. He takes you just as you are. No matter what you've done in your life, no matter how many times people may have told you that you are unworthy or that you don't matter. No matter how you've treated people or how people have treated you. No matter how bad you think you've messed up and you can't fix anything. He loves you just the way you are, and there is nothing you can do that will make Him love you any more or any less than He already does. What wonderful news! I think that's something that should be celebrated on a daily basis. As long as you truly believe with all of your heart that Jesus has was crucified for our sins, that He rose again on the third day and defeated death, you have become a new creation in Christ. You are one of His children, and you will be able to spend the rest of eternity with the Lord in heaven. What a miracle! We are so undeserving, and He takes us anyway. He gives us the choice to follow or not follow, but when He is so good and faithful, why in the world would you not want to take that FREE gift that He has given you? If you are a believer, you are forgiven, you are new, your slate is wiped clean.

If any of you feel like you're falling apart or that you aren't worthy of love, God loves you. He loves you more than you can ever imagine. He loves you more than anything in the history of creation.

At the end of the day, I can count my blessings and see how God has truly worked in my life. We are all undeserving of salvation, but God loves us so much that He gave us Christ. As if that isn't enough, He calls us to give everything to Him. Any fears, any doubts, any problems, anything that is troubling us or worrying us. Once we surrender everything to Him, it's truly amazing the kind of peace you experience. The Word says in Philippians 4:6-7: "Don't worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank Him for all He has done. Then you will experience God's peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus."

I'll leave you with this: challenge yourselves to place everything at His feet and see how He responds.

Thanks for reading. I'll hopefully post a blog soon that might not be so heavy. Ha!

perspective

To the objective eye, my life hasn't really changed a whole lot. I'm still just working at the law firm full time. I'm still living at home with my parents. I'm still trying to figure out what to do with my life. 

All of those things are the same, but if you knew me, you might be able to notice that my life is changing. I have learned to alter my perspective on the things in my life that are important. As far as my friends and family are concerned, they will always and forever be collectively two of the most important things in my life. However, with some of the experiences that I've had since I've graduated college, my life is beginning to take a new turn.

I am learning to become a fully devoted follower of Christ. He is why my life is changing. He is the reason that I am beginning to rethink my goals in life. He is becoming a bigger influence on my life daily. It's truly amazing to me how much life is changing since He has become a priority. It is still a struggle to allow Him to control my life completely, but I'm working on it. When you allow God to take control of your life, things just seem to fall into place. There are so many things about this life that are uncertain, but one thing is true and unchanging: my God loves me, my God sacrificed His only son for me so that I may be able to live with Him forever in heaven. While no one deserves heaven, Christ died so that we may have life to the full with God in heaven. What beautiful news! God's love for me proves to overwhelm me and humble me every day.

A dear friend of mine has, in the recent past, made me realize that it is a true blessing and honor to serve the Lord of the universe. Being a Christian isn't about what you can and can't do; it's about showing the world who God is in your life. It's about His saving grace. Once you stop thinking about how you're restricted, you can experience true freedom. Freedom from sin, freedom from baggage, freedom from pain, freedom from trying to please people that will inevitably fail you. The Lord never fails. The Lord is always faithful. The Lord is loving and just and righteous. Everything that you could ever need, God has already given you through Christ. 

I am humbled to say that I have landed a spot on the worship team at my LifeChurch.tv campus. My first weekend to serve on stage with the team is the last weekend of December, and I am SUPER excited! It's such a blessing to be able to serve with a church that God is using to do incredible things. My life is taking a different direction than I expected it to, but I'm anxious and excited to see where the Lord takes me. I have to remind myself, though, that it's all about Him. 

"For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Romans 8:38-39

everything happens for a reason

My crazy, exciting, unpredictable life. It has its moments when I feel like I'm drowning, and then it changes immediately, and I can't imagine it to be any other way. Lately, I've been able to rekindle some old friendships that are beginning to be the most important ones in my current reality. As usual, I can say I've been adding some new relationships, and those are also very meaningful. I can only hope that my luck is changing as far as new relationships are concerned. The last few have been less than true.

I'm lucky to have been born in the place I was. I'm fortunate to have all of the things I need to succeed in this life. I'm blessed to have the most amazing family and friends at my side for the support I need. 

The only thing I can think is to say..

praise God. 

frustrated

I know that there are so many things in my life to be thankful for. I understand that my life could always get worse.


But sometimes, the smallest things just really upset me, and I think that anyone would have the right to be upset for some amount of time.


I just want answers. Everything was pretty damn close to perfect, and now I can't seem to understand what's going on. Hopefully I'll get some kind of relief in the near future. Until then, I can only wait.


And the waiting is miserable.

Have you ever wanted something so bad that you almost couldn't stand it?


Well, I definitely have.


Last night, all of that changed when I realized that the one thing I've been wanting for so long hasn't happened because I'm not at all ready for it.


Talk about a sobering moment.


If you want something, make sure you're in the right place in your life to handle it. Especially if it is something that could be potentially life-changing.

new chapter

My life has changed dramatically in the last month. First off, I graduated with a Bachelor's degree in Musical Arts with emphasis in Voice and secondary emphasis in Business from the University of Oklahoma.

..okay so I realize that's really long. Basically I got a degree saying that I can sing and that I kind of know what I'm doing as far as the business world is concerned.

But graduating from college is more than just saying that I have a degree. It also means leaving behind everything I've known for the past 4 1/2 years of my life. Well really more than that. More like the past 16 1/2 years of my life. I've been doing school since I can remember, and the thought of not having to worry about grades or tests or homework is a pretty crazy thought for me.

Graduating college means that now my life can truly begin, and honestly, thinking about that is incredibly scary. As awesome as it is knowing I never have to worry about going to class ever again, the thought of actually being on my own is intimidating to say the least. However, knowing that I can take my life anywhere at this point is incredibly liberating. I can go and do anything I wish, and I know that I will be successful as long as I do my absolute best, regardless of the outcome.

With that liberation comes sadness that I will no longer be spending all of my time with the people that I met and loved throughout my college years. They will no doubt be a huge part of my life forever. I will treasure the moments I had with all of them for the rest of my life, and nothing can replace those memories.

Since graduation, I have started working as a receptionist at a law firm in Oklahoma City. What makes it really nice is that my mom works here. So to be completely honest, my real adult life has barely begun. I still have that cushion to fall back on until it's time to move on and accomplish the dreams that I have had for my life. I can't wait to see what God has in store for me.